Thursday, April 7, 2011


In a survey taken by The Royal College of Midwives, 38% of women said they would rather have someone else besides their husband in the delivery room with them. One in six mothers claimed dads got in the way, while four in ten dads admitted they felt unwanted during the birth.
Lots of dads wouldn’t dream of not being there but find that when they are actually in the room they panic in a sort way. If you were the first time dad, what would you do? Some dads are scared but consider how she feels. It isn’t much to ask for you to stand by her side. You can do that literally, just stay by her head if you get grossed out easily and are worried about fainting. It is important is to pay attention to what she wants. Some women want to be left alone during labor. If that is the case then leave her alone. Communicate with her and let her know you are there for her if she needs anything.

Here are a couple of list on what you can do to stay busy and to help her:
For some women the most important thing is to hold her hand so she knows she’s not alone; give her words of encouragement and support. Tell that she’s amazing, or she’s doing a great job, or say in front of her that she’s strong; show her love. Tell her the three words I love you, or you’re so beautiful. Remind her why she is in this pain by saying we are going to be parents soon, or you’re going to be a great mom; get her a cold rag and wipe her forehead; feed her ice chips; massage her feet or hands; bring a CD player and be her DJ. Making her a CD of her favorites would be nice; take pictures - be the photographer; get her gifts before she goes into labor and give it to her. This will distract the pain and make her really happy. A flower or necklace would be nice.

What not to do is to never, and I mean never tell her not to yell. Leave that to the nurses. Let her hate them for it. If a TV is in the room, don’t turn it on unless she asks for it. Don’t get in the way of the nurses or doctor. Don’t bring food in the room. She won’t be able to eat so don’t tease her.

Making a decision about whether or not to attend the birth of your child is a personal one that should be made prior to labor pains. Men should discuss their feelings with their partner and both should choose the best option that will suit them both.

If you think you cannot see yourself being present for the birth of the baby, consider a couple of choices. You can arrange for someone to be the labor partner if your partner allows it. You can also choose to be present just for the labor or perhaps just for the birth. You can also come in directly after the baby is born. And after the difficult part, you can celebrate with the mom and the newborn.

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